Are we sleepwalking into success addiction?

The speed of life in the 2020s is often crazy. Waking up each morning can be like opening your eyes and finding yourself at the wheel of a car moving at speed on a busy highway.

We may not even fully come around and sit up in bed before checking emails, reading and replying to messages, consuming depressing headlines and outraged opinions, and being bombarded with notifications.

But rather than put our foot on the brake and start asking questions—'How did we get here?', 'Where are we going?', 'What are we even getting from this?'—we often feel we have no choice but to grab the wheel and maintain speed.

It's all we can do to keep up and follow the signs that everyone else seems to be following. After all, we don't see those around us panicking or slowing down, and we definitely don't want to crash.

Why this happens

It's not surprising that we react this way. All we're doing is following the survival instincts inherited from our hunter-gatherer ancestors.

Of course, society's goals are infinitely more varied and advanced than they were 12,000 years ago. Success and safety today encompass so much more than finding food and not getting eaten by wolves.

But whatever success means to us personally, and however we set about achieving it, we can sometimes keep our eyes too much on the prize. We can become blind to the toll that the rinse-and-repeat processes needed to win it can take.

Exposing our nervous systems to this day after day is intense. If we're struggling in some way, whether financially, personally or professionally, then the mental and physical toll can be enormous.

Yet the taste of success, of victory over the odds, is still sweet. The dopamine hit is bliss. And so we want more. We go again. And again. We can get like the pensioners in Vegas casinos, throwing one quarter after another into the slot machines.

Why it's addictive

Success can be as addictive as anything. What better high than to thrive at something you're good at and that you enjoy, especially when it comes with apt financial rewards?

And you wouldn't think success could be dangerous, especially when working at something you love. When we do our work well and reap the rewards, we feel validated. We want to keep it doing because we enjoy it, so we do it more. And more. And more.

But here's where the danger resides.

We can be aware, however, subconsciously, that we're climbing higher and that, therefore, we have further to fall. So we keep saying "Yes" to jobs and clients, even when it's no longer in our best interests. We may become afraid of stopping, or even just tapping the brake a little, because we believe that everyone else will just speed off into the distance, taking all the work and money with them. The ride will be over, and we'll have to get off.

There are only so many minutes in the day, and so much we can do at once. So if we're working more and more and making sure we're available at all hours, then maybe we'll stop taking care of ourselves like we should.

We skip our exercises here and there, forget to eat the odd meal, stay up late and get up early, and wake up tired and sluggish. We caffeinate ourselves into gear, don't have time to relax properly in the evenings and have a couple of drinks to help. So we wake up tired and sluggish. And so on.

This stuff can snowball quickly. And because so many others seem to be doing the same thing—hustling, grinding, achieving, living on takeaways, drinking too much—it can seem normal, regardless of how unhappy it's making us feel.

It happened to me

To repeat, there's nothing wrong with wanting and achieving success. But when we don't approach it in the right way, it stops being fun. Even if we love our work, it can still become a dreaded chore. We reach for easy and unhealthy ways of coping.

Life stops becoming energising and interesting. We're on a journey, but the scenery's just a blur. Trying to keep up gets too much, and we end up spinning out of control. Game Over starts flashing on the screen.

How do I know this? And who am I to be telling you about it? Well, I was that guy.

I did all of the above voluntarily because I loved my work and the material and spiritual benefits it provided. I kept saying "Yes" until I almost couldn't say anything anymore because I was so burned out.

By the time I realised—no, by the time I accepted that I was heading for disaster, it was too late. There was nothing I could do to avoid it.

If you're thirsty, you're already dehydrated. Ignoring such warnings will not eliminate them; it will only lead to bigger problems further down the road, and they will eventually become insurmountable.

Like thousands before me, I ended up in that scenario. Thankfully, with a lot of help, I got out of it. How I've worked to prevent it from happening again has inspired a whole new chapter in my life.

I write books, record podcasts, and give talks, offering practical advice for creatives who want to take control of their lives and careers by laying healthy and holistic foundations, creating optimal conditions for growth, and breaking the burnout cycle that's so easy to fall into—especially when, on the face of it, things are going well.

Learning what 'enough' looks like

One of my work's major themes is learning to define what "enough" looks like. This applies to anyone at any stage of their life. We can be relentlessly driving forward and aren't necessarily doing anything wrong.

When starting out, you have to say "Yes" to many things to get anywhere. You must work your way up, prove your worth to others, and establish yourself. That's what separates those who succeed from those who fail. The world won't come to you, and it owes you nothing.

But there equally comes a time when it's in your best interest to start saying "No" a little more often, however uncomfortable it can feel at first. Knowing when you've reached that point is part of the process.

Whatever level we're at, though, in our hyper-connected, always-on, dopamine-fuelled society, we always retain the power to choose. It's in our power to learn and understand all of the signals.

In doing so, we can create the optimal conditions for our creative and spiritual growth. We'll still be at the wheel but won't be gritting our teeth and holding on for dear life. We'll know why we're there and, crucially, where we're going.